Can you forgive me? I left you. I disappeared. I ran and hid. I started SUCKING at my goals & ran into a dark place and ate some bread with butter & jelly on it. Several times. And some chips with dip. And a donut. Or two. And I couldn't get on my blog and tell you all how naughty I was because you were sitting there, looking hot, wishing I'd had that figure I had back in 1993, when we first met. But that was 17 years and two babies ago (never mind that they are both adopted) and this body has CHANGED. *sigh*
There are days that I have to seriously consider- is it worth it? Lucky for me, I have a husband who would love me the same if I weighed 130 pounds or 330 pounds. And I realize that sometimes I resent being in a position where I have to make perfect choices ALL OF THE TIME. However, if I want to live the life I want to live, I don't really have a choice. And that sucks. But there must be something inside of me that wants to move in the right direction. As I was working out today, I was watching Oprah and it was the show where she had the author of "Women, Food, and God" discussing her book. Listen, I have the book and I've tried to read it but I just fall asleep. Nothing against the book, that's just me. And I've tried to watch this episode of Oprah before and it had the same effect on me... zzzzzz..... But today I noticed there was a woman on the show who had finally "got it" with her own weight loss. She had lost 80 pounds and she looked beautiful and young and fit and confident. And as I looked at her face, I realized my legs were pumping harder on the elliptical machine. That's how I know that I want to get to that point, more then I want a bowl of Captain Crunch cereal at 10:12PM. That's why I came back. (That, and you smell so good.)
And speaking of being back... I OWE YOU a giveaway! (I really am sorry I skipped out on you. I hope we can get back together and you can take me for a nice long car ride so that we can talk it out.) Please watch the following VLOG to see who won the set of FANCY sheets! And Winner, please email me at email@example.com to claim your prize!
I did get my hour of cardio in today (hence the picture at the top) and it felt really good. When I'm not exercising and eating poorly, I feel pretty sad... and bloated... and empty. THANKS to those of you who have stuck with me over the last month and a half! We have a ways to go so let's pick up with DAY 60 and move forward from here, shall we?
(From the person who had her tail between her legs and is now holding her head up proudly and saying "I'M HUMAN.")
See you TOMORROW!