Surgery in your mouth = not so sexy.

Twenty years ago I had a small bump in the top of my mouth. Small... meaning the size of a pencil eraser. Nothing too concerning however I went ahead and made an appointment to see my family physician. Dr. W took one look at the bump and said "nothing to worry about." These were the words I wanted to hear: "NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT." Never mind that my physician was 300+ pounds and a smoker. As long as he felt I was healthy, I could retreat back into my blissful 20-year-old world where nothing was wrong. COOL! Fast-forward to 2010 when Dr. Wedam (my dentist) was checking my teeth and said "WHAT IS THIS HUGE BLUE LUMP IN THE TOP OF YOUR MOUTH...?" Of course, I quickly comforted him by saying "oh, I had that looked at (twenty years ago) and it's nothing." Next thing I know, I'm getting an MRI and a referral to an ENT. Dr. Todd biopsied the mass and our local pathologists were unable to determine exactly what the tissue sample was- it had to be sent to the Mayo Clinic. Thankfully, it's NOT cancer however the tumor needed to be removed.
 

I took this photo in the parking lot of the gym the day before my surgery. Since having the operation, I'm not going to be able to work out for 2 weeks which SUCKS. And it seems that most "soft foods" are things like ice cream, pudding... not a lot of protein choices, there. Of course, I can have a protein drink but I'm getting a little tired of the sweet stuff. 

 Since I had my operation on Friday the 13th, I was pretty sure I was going to die. And every person should be entitled to their "last meal." I dined on cinnamon rolls, sour gummy worms, the BIG Fritos with bean dip, and washed it all down with grape soda. It was amazing... until the acid reflux kicked up at about 3:00AM. Yeah. Now I remember why I don't eat like that, anymore.

This is me, right before the surgery. I'm not sure what I was trying to accomplish with the pose- but I can tell you that I have not been quite that chipper since the procedure has been done! I have a hole in the top of my mouth about the size of a ping pong ball... But it will fill. I'm quite tired and trying to get lots of rest. The good news is that the worst of it is behind me! My friends are all bringing me soup this week which is SUPER nice and a couple of them have signed up to give me a sponge baths... even though I don't need a sponge bath. Should I tell them? ; )

Eric has been so attentive- making sure I have all of the help I need with my food, medication, the house, and the kids. And even the kids are being good! I'm thankful for my family, my health, and the good doctors who have taken care of me. And I'm ESPECIALLY thankful for Dr. Wedam!! If I ever come across another bump... I think I'll get a second opinion. I'm just glad everything has turned out okay!

I've made it... it's official... FOURTY. This is how it looks:

What an AMAZING month December turned out to be! As you may recall, I realized in a previous blog post that I had FOUR MONTHS TO 40 and wanted to lose some weight. I'm happy to report that I have lost some weight... a little over fifty pounds! I'm currently around 175 (I say "around" since it fluctuates but that's the average) and my new goal is 160. I have a feeling that the next 15 pounds aren't going to come off easily... One problem could be my addiction to all that is sweet over the last few days. But we won't talk about that right now. And I'm punishing myself for my sins by going to the gym regularly and drinking meal replacement drinks. I'll be FINE! Just having a moment... MOVING ON.

One of the highlights of the "month of my birth" was a spontaneous trip with my darling niece, Brooke. She's 19 however she thinks I'm hip and doesn't treat me like the crypt keeper. We had an overnight trip planned for Sacramento that turned in to two additional nights in San Francisco. SO MUCH FUN! Here we are at one of MY favorite stores- IKEA. It was Brooke's first time. She didn't understand it. She indulged me the same way I indulged her in all of those dark, teen stores that reek of cologne. Sometimes we have to agree to disagree.

While in San Francisco, I was SO HAPPY to be able to reunite with one of my oldest and dearest friends, Scott! We were very close about 53 years ago when I lived in Memphis. We worked together, lived together, and PARTIED together. Now I drive a mini-van. He's still cool. How did THAT happen? OH... that's right... he doesn't have any kids. He and his partner, Mark, took Brooke and I to an amazing German restaurant. That's right- German. When they said GERMAN I was all... "OH! That sounds amazing!" trying to be cool... but really I was NOT excited. However the food was SO GOOD and the company was even better. It was so good to snuggle with Scott's arm around my shoulder. Just like the old days when I had a crush on him before I knew he was gay- comforting, yet got me nowhere. ; )

This is the view from our hotel room in San Francisco - it was the first time I had ever had a room on the TOP floor. AMAZING. And a little unsettling if you stood against the window and looked straight down. Fancy hotels are nice but not nearly as fun if you're staying with your niece and not your husband. She's not nearly as good of a kisser as Eric is. And she hogs the covers.

Back to reality... We enjoyed a wonderful Christmas holiday together as a family. There's something extra special about Christmas when it's on a Sunday. We opened gifts, had a delicious breakfast, and headed to church where we could enjoy the choir's Christmas program. I am so thankful for my family- even more-so during the holidays. It's all so magical. (except for Baxter... he's kind of annoying.)

 My birthday is on New Years Eve. We had big plans for a party but honestly, as the year drew to a close, I realized the only people I wanted to share the new year with were already right there in my house. The kids are finally at that age where they can get along and not CONSTANTLY WANT TO KILL EACH OTHER. And Eric and I have been major home bodies, lately. It was good! And the kiss at midnight from my husband was perfect. TMI? Sorry about that...

 My favorite day was January 3, 2012, when Eric and I celebrated our 15 year anniversary. We got all dolled up and went to the new Mission Impossible film. Eric gave me a beautiful watch to commemorate the years- he put so much thought into my gift. I don't know if you can tell, but I really do have a crush on this man. I'm looking forward to the next 15 years and beyond!

And finally, you can see that I made another trip to the dump. My BFF Carissa and I had a couple of loads. Nothing like purging old junk, right? You can take that comment any way you'd like to. Whether it's 50 pounds, a stupid person in your life, bad habits... what ever it may be. Why hang on to the crap in your life? DUMP IT. I'm looking forward to 2012! We're working on finishing construction in the house this year, I'm starting school at OIT next week... (they told me I could qualify for a backpack with wheels. Seriously.) 40 isn't so bad, so far! I'll be sure to keep you posted... until then~ DUMP THE JUNK and take care of YOU!!!

Who... me?

Tired. Busy. Distracted. Funny to some. Obnoxious to most. Knocking on 40's door. Hoping it doesn't answer. It will. Trying. Succeeding. Sometimes failing. Loved. Forgiven. Mother. Housekeeper. Homemaker. Wife. (did I say loved?) Business owner. Taxi driver. Grocery store shopper. Provider of encouragement. Keeper of the most wonderful friends. Dog lover. Terrible dog trainer. Cat owner when he allows me to be. Often humbled. Always thankful. Sweating. Watching what I eat. Trying. Stepping backwards. Trying again. And again.  And again. Never complacent. Wanting to be better. Striving to be the person I want to be. Happy with my family. Amazed by my children. In love with my husband. Ready to learn. Wanting to help. Listening. Thinking. Reflecting. Active. Healthy. Engaged with life. Going to ski this winter. More then once. Finding the right path to happiness. Honest. Sincere. Imperfect.

These are the things I am.

Enough pills to choke a ....

OH what we will do to look fabulous! This is the cocktail that Eric has prescribed for me each morning:
1) 30g of protein. (made by him this morning & included a nice spoon full of peanut butter- VERY yummy!
2) PILLS: Fish oil (2), Ultra CLA, Chromium GTF, EPA-DHA, 5000u vitamin D, Phentermine to help with appetite, and an ibuprofen SINCE MY BODY HURTS THIS WEEK.
There could be more in this pile and I wouldn't even know it. How do you begin YOUR morning?