I am a very visual person. I have to have lists or pictures or texts that say "I know you told me you need ____ but can you email me so I don't forget?" So today, as it was after 10AM and I was still lounging around the house (don't tell my husband) I realized it was time to make some goals for 2013. Some of the goals, such as "finish [refinishing] that damned dresser" will be easy to mark off the list while others are more abstract, such as "be more trusting." The official list will be posted in my bathroom on a lovely fabric covered bulletin board that I easily see every day. #visual.(I love the inappropriate and obnoxious use of hash tags.)
If you follow my blog (you know, the one I post on twice a year...) you know that I've been in school at OIT for the last year. I felt very fulfilled by attending classes, turning papers in, and being handed back my A's. I took a term off to regroup and was getting ready to enroll until my therapist (what, doesn't everyone have a therapist?) said "are you planning on going back to work? (no.) Are you going to complete a degree? (no...) Then why are you going?" I said "because I like it! I get A's!" He then said "forgive me for saying this but your going to school is kind of masturbatory, isn't it? If you're not going to get a degree or planning a career, isn't it a waste of money? Will you still be going to school when you're 70 to fulfill yourself? Find something that you CAN do for years that makes you feel good and helps others." #sigh #he'sright #ihatethat.
Since becoming a "stay-at-home-mother" I felt that being a SAHM was enough. The house is clean, laundry is caught up, meals are prepared. I considered myself a June Cleaver, minus the apron and then sprinkle in an occasional lewd comment. I looked around at my closest friends and was comforted that they are all SAHMs, too. But I recently took a closer look at my peers, wiped the sleep out of my eyes, and realized:
Carissa: stay at home mother and blogger. And volunteers at the school. And runs cub scouts. Julie: stay at home mother and blogger. And has babies at home. Makes cool crafts & does graphic design until 2AM most nights. Christy: stay at home mother and working part time at her kid's preschool. Cathy: stay at home mother and involved with school politics. And does a lot of church volunteer work and involved in sports. A runner. Kathy: former stay at home mother who now works part time at a cool cafe, waiting tables.
If someone had to summarize what Amy was doing... well... my house is really clean?
IN SUMMARY: (this blog post has been wandering and random but I know where I'm headed, here...) It's time for me to make a little more of this life. There are people I need to meet, weight I need to lose, dressers I need to finish refinishing, and differences I need to make in myself and it's never too late to start. I'm even going to make some of that crap I've pinned on Pinterest. Watch me. I'm 41, now, and this life is short. Truthfully, I'm on the downhill slide. I want to make each day count, have no regrets, and create new habits that WILL fulfill me and make me the best person I can be. #i'mgonnabeawesome. What are YOU doing to better yourself? What makes YOU feel more balanced and fulfilled? (come on, guys, I need more ideas!!)