Sunday, November 14, 2010

Drowning in a Sea of Blue. Carpet.


I have not even opened this page for months. And I'm sorry. I shut down, turned away, and literally have not entered the blog address. I'm too chicken to even read the comments on the last entry. But I will. I need to put on my big-girl-panties and face the music.

Let's back up.

Remember when we went on that camping trip with the Jones'? (one of our BEST summer memories!) When we were packing up to leave, we received a phone call from our real estate broker. There is a house we had been looking at for about 6 months that we both loved... we talked about it every day... but we simply couldn't pay what they were asking. Or anything near it. Lisa called us to let us know the family was VERY ready to sell the house and they REALLY wanted our family to buy it. The home had been built in 1978 and owned by a local physician and after 32 years of memories, he needed to join his sons in Portland. And it meant something to him that Eric is a young physician with young children who could now be the steward of the home. And I get that, since I'm sentimental. We had already made the decision that as much as we reeeaaaalllllllyyyyy wanted this home, we weren't going to buy it. We were going to stay where we were at & enjoy our simple life. Why make things more complicated?

But then there was that phone call.

And the fact that we discussed that home, every single day. For over six months. And if someone else purchased the home, we knew it was going to make us sad and we would look at each other and say "...what if...?"

 Eric and I pride ourselves in being risk-takers. MANY times we have jumped, with our eyes shut, and trusted that things will be all right. And I believe this will be all right, too...

So we jumped. We listed our home on Hilldale Street that we loved and that we still love. There are a handful of things left in that house and whenever I go there, it still feels so familiar. It was home. The new house isn't home... it's a place where we live. I know, I know... "HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS." Well, my heart can't get around the blue carpeting or the Spanish tile on the kitchen island that is so busy, I can't find my car keys on it. This house needs a TREMENDOUS amount of work done to it. We went from 1800 square feet of updated coziness to 5000+ square feet of well-taken-care-of-1978.
There's wall-to-wall-to-kitchen-to-bathroom-to-EVERYWHERE carpeting. Like, when I vacuum, it takes me a solid 45 minutes to get the main level completed. That's ALMOST AN HOUR of solid vacuuming. I'm pretty sure the wonderful woman who occupied this home before me vacuumed her way around the world. Five times.

We have a lot of plans for what's going to happen to this home. We have tile samples and wood flooring samples and new appliance ideas and demo plans and drawings on the walls where walls are going to come down and light fixture catalogs and blue prints and aspirations and dreams... (Notice I didn't say two things: 1) carpeting samples or 2) a pile of money to get started.) I have to be patient. Maybe this is going to result in a series of lessons I need to learn, right?

In the meantime, I haven't been to the gym in months and I'm INCREDIBLY unhappy with myself. I'm sorry if you've been disappointed in the lack-of-blog. I'm sorry I've gain weight. I'm disappointed, too. I feel rather gross, however, my husband still thinks I'm hot. I'm sorry (KELDA) if I haven't been able to talk about it. I'm sorry if you've Facebook'd me, asking me to start blogging again and I haven't responded. When I'm stressed, I'm AWESOME at hiding inside my shell and not peeking out. (says the person who only opened her blog site TODAY.) I hope you'll forgive me.

Damned Jodi Orlando has thrown down the gauntlet and let me know it's time to start up with my fitness again. Tomorrow it begins. I'm not going to make you any promises because, please don't take this personally, it's not about you. It's about me. However, I can tell you that I'm not happy like this. I know how I feel when I'm living a healthy lifestyle and, ladies and gentlemen, THIS AIN'T IT. But there's always time to start again and this I will do.

Someone recently told me that this blog, RebuildingAmy, could not only be a place to document my journey to health and fitness but also the progress on the new home. Get it? Re BUILDING Amy?? So, I think I'll do that! I mean, who doesn't like watching someone ELSE'S construction project? While they get thin? It's a two-fer!

That's where I'm at, today. Unless I have a heart attack at the gym tomorrow, I'll be back. And for the 3-4 people who read this, thanks for hanging with me....

16 comments:

Andrea said...

I <3 the blue carpet and will miss it when its gone. You know you can ALWAYS call me if you want to hang, work out, babysit, movie night, whatever! And I will help you tear apart your house because someday I will own my own house and itd be nice to learn how to do some work :) <3 you Hempel fam!

Jill said...

I have missed you:( I am glad that you are back! I too have not been at the gym for a very long time...it's is hard to get started again! My mom loves her blue carpet...me not so much!

christina said...

WELCOME back...you were missed!

Warrior Princess said...

amy lady. i'm right there with you....look at MY most recent post. :( i understand not bloggin and not being happy. i love you, and just know that you lift me up and i love reading your blog...if you need ANYTHING, call me! i may not be available, but i will try :) friend to friend. you rock!!!
it's getting back up and not staying down that counts...that's what makes the journey worth it...not being amazing all at once. believe i need to follow this too!

Probst Pride said...

I am sooooo very excited you are back in the blogging world! I have missed you. I have missed my daily laugh. A friend of ours told me once that I don't laugh at movies or tv... and he was right... because they are not funny - You Mrs. Hempel are hilarious! so my hat is off to you for jumping back on the wagon!!! I've saved a seat for you!
xoxoxo

Laurens_Closet said...

Awww.... you all are so awesome! Andrea- the blue carpet is like a GIANT PILLOW, I know. BUT IT HAS TO GO. It depresses me. However, I had a friend over the other whose baby fell onto the carpet and pretty much bounced. So I guess it CAN be a good thing... : )

JILL! You were so good at getting to the gym! And let your mom know if she needs more blue carpet, I can hook her up...

Christina~ THANK YOU! I still need to read the comments on the last blog. I'm scared some of them will be less-then-friendly...

KELDA - I will read your post! (cooking dinner right now) But THANK YOU for your comment! I'm sorry I haven't gotten back with you- I will. I saw your text but was distracted at the time... YES I WILL give away a BodyBugg- I owe everyone the give-away! I'll have to think about a fun way to do it!

Kim- Thanks so much! I'm glad you think I'm funny... I believe I can be at times! : ) We're trying to have some fun over here!

I read this blog to Eric and when I was done, I said "what do you think?" And he said "I'm proud of you." THAT was the best compliment ever. I haven't felt like someone worthy of that, lately, where fitness is concerned. It was very, very nice to hear! : )

Laurens_Closet said...

UGH. Just read the comments on the last blog.. so SWEET how some people were so worried! (Kristen S I hope you check out the blog again... I'm ALIVE! You could have called the office!!) : ) And then the poor "didn't get my sheets" gal.. I'll mail those off tonight, with a bonus gift. I love the "anon" people who post stuff like "maybe she's backed out of the giveaway and feels stupid"... uhhh.... no. Bodybugg giveaway will happen and hopefully the dumbass that made that comment won't win it.

Off to order some LONG overdue sheets!

Amy

4D Mama said...

That blue carpet would make me bluer than the King after someone stepped on his Blue Suede Shoes. Okay that was dumb. But seriously. It was really great watching baby tumble down and not be able to tell what had more padding, her cheeks or your carpet. I'm super glad that you're blogging again (even though I rarely have the time to look) so I can catch up when I DO have time. I loved watching your rennovation of the old house and would love to see the new diggs get madeover too, so there's my vote for that.
Last but not least, it's not as fun shouting out my hurrah's about weightloss to someone who's not fighting the battle with me... so I beg you to please get back on the wagon, for my own selfish reasons. I want to celebrate your triumphant return to weight loss DIVANESS and even maybe a little competition. Cause what good is a friend that you can't jab in the side and say to her... "Anything you can do, I can do better!"? Or maybe that was not a friend......... Well, it IS me, what can I say? Oh yes... YOU GO GIRL!

Lindy said...

I am glad you are back! I know you have been busy and stressed and maybe this can help you relax for a bit! I promise I won't get anymore mint brownies too!!!

Allison said...

While it might not be plesant in real life, that picture just makes that carpet look Super comfy. Have you seen How to Train Your Dragon? I think of Toothless rolling around in the grass in complete Euphoria when I see that carpet. Just rolling and wiggling. You can't do that with Wood floors.

And I am so happy you are back!

Karen said...

I think that's a great idea about documenting your house "rebuilding" and congrads. I am glad your back and I have missed your blog. I to have fallen off the fitness wagon and am just struggling. I feel so uncomfortable in my own skin and I have a horrendous cold but this afternoon after work I am going to go join the local gym and my eats today are looking pretty good. One step at a time. I understand when life gets hectic it is so hard to stay in the healthy grove. I wish it would come natural to me but it just does not. I need to work at it and sometimes darn it I dont want to. LOL. Here's to hoping that your house reno's and your healty reno's go well and smooth.

Mamaappah said...

Hey Amy! So my walking partner is out of town for the next week and I am a pathetic excuse when it comes to exercising by myself. Any chance you want to walk the neighborhood after drop off in the morning? I'm flexible....Let me know! Otherwise I have a pumpkin cheesecake in my freezer I can make good use of;)

april

Rachel Garcia said...

I am so happy to see you back in the bloggy world!!! I have a friend who does vinyl and could help you decorate you pretty new house!!! Thanks again for the other day!!
Rachel

Just Joanie said...

OK Amy...you have me motivated. I will join you. I just bought a punch card at a local Rec Center (because I am too afraid to fully commit with a contract and annual membership) so after work tomorrow morning, I will drive my weak-sauce self to the gym and engage in a meaningful transfer of energy...and quite possibly pass out. Thanks for the blog post. I needed that!

wendy said...

So glad you updated and I look forward to home renovations. I understand the weightloss thing. It has taken me years to lose 55 pounds. It's a tedious journey, but doable! ;-)

Vicky said...

You've been missed. Sorry you have to be human but don't we all?!! Good luck with the new house and the new you!