Drowning in a Sea of Blue. Carpet.

I have not even opened this page for months. And I'm sorry. I shut down, turned away, and literally have not entered the blog address. I'm too chicken to even read the comments on the last entry. But I will. I need to put on my big-girl-panties and face the music.

Let's back up.

Remember when we went on that camping trip with the Jones'? (one of our BEST summer memories!) When we were packing up to leave, we received a phone call from our real estate broker. There is a house we had been looking at for about 6 months that we both loved... we talked about it every day... but we simply couldn't pay what they were asking. Or anything near it. Lisa called us to let us know the family was VERY ready to sell the house and they REALLY wanted our family to buy it. The home had been built in 1978 and owned by a local physician and after 32 years of memories, he needed to join his sons in Portland. And it meant something to him that Eric is a young physician with young children who could now be the steward of the home. And I get that, since I'm sentimental. We had already made the decision that as much as we reeeaaaalllllllyyyyy wanted this home, we weren't going to buy it. We were going to stay where we were at & enjoy our simple life. Why make things more complicated?

But then there was that phone call.

And the fact that we discussed that home, every single day. For over six months. And if someone else purchased the home, we knew it was going to make us sad and we would look at each other and say "...what if...?"

 Eric and I pride ourselves in being risk-takers. MANY times we have jumped, with our eyes shut, and trusted that things will be all right. And I believe this will be all right, too...

So we jumped. We listed our home on Hilldale Street that we loved and that we still love. There are a handful of things left in that house and whenever I go there, it still feels so familiar. It was home. The new house isn't home... it's a place where we live. I know, I know... "HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS." Well, my heart can't get around the blue carpeting or the Spanish tile on the kitchen island that is so busy, I can't find my car keys on it. This house needs a TREMENDOUS amount of work done to it. We went from 1800 square feet of updated coziness to 5000+ square feet of well-taken-care-of-1978.
There's wall-to-wall-to-kitchen-to-bathroom-to-EVERYWHERE carpeting. Like, when I vacuum, it takes me a solid 45 minutes to get the main level completed. That's ALMOST AN HOUR of solid vacuuming. I'm pretty sure the wonderful woman who occupied this home before me vacuumed her way around the world. Five times.

We have a lot of plans for what's going to happen to this home. We have tile samples and wood flooring samples and new appliance ideas and demo plans and drawings on the walls where walls are going to come down and light fixture catalogs and blue prints and aspirations and dreams... (Notice I didn't say two things: 1) carpeting samples or 2) a pile of money to get started.) I have to be patient. Maybe this is going to result in a series of lessons I need to learn, right?

In the meantime, I haven't been to the gym in months and I'm INCREDIBLY unhappy with myself. I'm sorry if you've been disappointed in the lack-of-blog. I'm sorry I've gain weight. I'm disappointed, too. I feel rather gross, however, my husband still thinks I'm hot. I'm sorry (KELDA) if I haven't been able to talk about it. I'm sorry if you've Facebook'd me, asking me to start blogging again and I haven't responded. When I'm stressed, I'm AWESOME at hiding inside my shell and not peeking out. (says the person who only opened her blog site TODAY.) I hope you'll forgive me.

Damned Jodi Orlando has thrown down the gauntlet and let me know it's time to start up with my fitness again. Tomorrow it begins. I'm not going to make you any promises because, please don't take this personally, it's not about you. It's about me. However, I can tell you that I'm not happy like this. I know how I feel when I'm living a healthy lifestyle and, ladies and gentlemen, THIS AIN'T IT. But there's always time to start again and this I will do.

Someone recently told me that this blog, RebuildingAmy, could not only be a place to document my journey to health and fitness but also the progress on the new home. Get it? Re BUILDING Amy?? So, I think I'll do that! I mean, who doesn't like watching someone ELSE'S construction project? While they get thin? It's a two-fer!

That's where I'm at, today. Unless I have a heart attack at the gym tomorrow, I'll be back. And for the 3-4 people who read this, thanks for hanging with me....