Monday, December 22, 2008

Getting my head on straight.

What a day it's been today! I'm sure most everyone who is reading this blog can relate with me when I say these three simple words: We've had snow.

LOTS of snow. And today, as it was snowing all day long, I went out & delivered 26 loaves of bread (NO I didn't bake it~ when I can buy a beautiful fresh loaf of pumpkin bread at Nibbley's for $7/ea you think I'd bake? HA!) to Eric's colleagues. It's a freakin' Christmas MIRACLE that I didn't bust my butt while I was trudging around in my FABULOUS heeled boots.

But the BEST part of my day? Coming home & seeing all of the support I received from people I've never met. THANK YOU. And you, my new friends, had some great advice! I forgot all about the "eat before you go" exercise- that's something I could definitely do. And all of your sweet compliments- feel free to come by here & drop those off, anytime!

My friend Tina read my blog today & when I was out doing the marketing I stopped by her office & we chatted for a minute. (HEY TINA!!) I loved the advice she gave me: Look at an old picture of yourself and remember how you felt in that picture. Not how you looked, but how you felt about yourself at that time.

I have not always had a weight problem. I know what it feels like to be thin & feel attractive. I look at pictures from 6 months ago or even further back & see a smile on the face of a very uncomfortable woman. I was uncomfortable in the skin I was wearing. I knew, as I smiled, that I would not like the image being taken. I learned how to live and breathe, being consciously ashamed. As I gained weight I also moved to another part of the country where people knew nothing different of me- I had always been a "big woman" to them. There was no other expectation of me. And I assumed that role and faded into being someone I didn't want to be. The Amy I had always known disappeared and I accepted that.

Not anymore. Today, December 22, 2008, I am sexy. Today I can exercise for over an hour without gasping for breath or getting fatigued. Today I don't accept this anymore. I am strong. I am REALLY funny. (you'd love me in person.) I am seeing a face in the mirror that is attractive & looks young. People tell me that I now have a "glow" I didn't have before. My sweet husband is excited that he can easily wrap his arms around my body. Tomorrow is going to be even better.

Junk, sweets, and candy can kiss my ass.


MParrish said...

this blog reminds me of when we first talked on the phone and you told me about your blog. you said, something along the lines of... "don't judge me by the photos you see of me or how i look on the blog".
It's incredible to see the physical difference but your same great smile and humor in every sentence!!!

Anonymous said...

you are gorgeous then and gorgeous now...but it is ultimately how "you" feel about yourself. I am so happy for you that you have started loving yourself. That is the most important thing.

You go girl...your an inspiration to me!

Merry Christmas :)

Linda Meacham said...

Your confidence is contagious! Keep it up girl!

Happy Holidays & Happy Weight Loss,

Ashley said...

Great blog Amy. I'm so glad I'm getting to "know" you on BTL. Keep up the great work. You're such an inspiration!

Bunny Trails said...

Love, Love, Love the confidence. You are making me feel more confident just reading it :)You are a beautiful woman - inside and out. Please don't ever forget that!

I can't wait to get to know even more anout you here in blogland :)

The Daily Rant said...

Looking at these pictures, I think you are just beautiful! I am really enjoying reading your blog so far and I will be joining you on your weight loss journey. Your humor is right up my alley and I'm ready to be "done with it" also.

Looking forward to a "new" New Year.