Perception.

As you know, I've been really struggling this week with food. Not FOOD, so much, but more like the "goodies of the season." We own a medical practice and this time of year a lot of businesses bring Christmas treats by so there are, literally, PILES of temptation laying around. And we have also had parties to attend, lunches to go to, Christmas dinners... it's HARD OUT THERE PEOPLE.

Today was my day to weigh in at Weight Watchers and judging from the larger-then-usual-pooch on my stomach I knew it was not going to be good. But I went. Although I had decided not to weigh in, just to attend the meeting. Why kick a dog when she's down? Once I got there, some of my WW friends convinced me to go ahead and weigh- be accountable for what I've eaten & know what I'm up against to move forward. So I got on the scale. Looking down I realized...I LOST ANOTHER 4.2 POUNDS, BRINGING MY CURRENT WEIGHT TO 192!!!

(have to add I love this pic- see Dr. Hempel trying to be professional in the background while Ashlyn & I are... being... ourselves...)

Crazy. If you've been closely following my blog, close enough that you can see the patterns in my weight gain and loss... you're probably my mother. For the rest of you, let me bring you up to speed:

11/25/08 Down 3.8

12/02/08 Up 1.6

12/09/08 Down 5.8

12/16/08 Up 1.8

12/23/08 Down 4.2 ... does anyone see a pattern, here...?

Before 11/25/08, I had a consistent weight LOSS every week. I realize that our bodies, especially for women, are always changing and fluctuating. And I'm okay with taking "two steps forward and one step back" as long as I am still walking in the right direction. What confuses me is the perception of myself as I was going into that meeting. Why did I see my stomach as being larger when, in fact, it was not? I know when I'm working out at the gym & I see my reflection in the mirror, I now see strength. I like to admire how long my neck looks as I am lifting weights. Would I have seen the same long, strong neck if I had looked in the mirror before knowing I had lost 4.2 pounds in the last week? And look at the month, as a whole~ I lost 10.4 pounds, total, for the month! But half of that month I was depressed, wanting to throw in the towel, because I had a couple of small weight gains.

Maybe what I need to do is stop critiquing the day by day successes and failures and start admiring the whole picture. Imagine...fifty two pounds of weight off of my body.

No wonder there are days I feel like I could fly~