STUCK between 202 pounds & a peanut butter cup. original post 11/20/08

Have you met my dog, Sissy? I wish I could have her cloned. She is THE MOST AMAZING dog in the world. (Boston Terrier)

HELLO my friends. I know you're all out there - - - YOUUUUU WHOOOooo! The last post I wrote I said I would be getting on here again, soon, to talk about some road blocks or something like that. So that's what I'll be sharing with all of you today. I've been doing the weight loss thing for about 3 months, now. And I think that, overall, I have done quite well. I've lost around 41 pounds so far and today I'm around the 202 mark. HOWEVER... lately I have lost some motivation and I need to get my head back on track.

There are several reasons I have started to lose sight of my goals and I'll tell you what I think they are...


1) I am now wearing "regular" sized clothing. GRANTED, it's the larger end of the sizes- xl's in shirts and 14/16 in the pants but I DO now have a SELECTION that is not located in "Women's World." (please refer to the 10/28 post titled "OH I could shout it from the rooftops")


2) friends are finally noticing my weight loss so I have received all of the compliments I was working so hard to get. Compliments are GREAT, don't get me wrong, but once they start coming in then you have been "complimented" and you have received that satisfaction.


3) I have been "allowing" myself to have treats... It started out to be a 1-2 times per week thing but has turned into a daily little "some-something" and I justify it by saying that I work hard enough to have earned that treat so why not have it?? My gym friends have THEIR treats... (never mind that they are women who wear sizes 4 thru 8 and I'm starting out another half a woman in gerth larger then they are.)


4) I honestly have some sort of mental block about that "two hundred pound mark." The one other time I lost weight, I got down to around 193. I think that SOMETHING in my head doesn't have the confidence to see that I can go down in weight, even further, and I have been sabotaging myself. I need to get to the root of that problem but am not sure how to get there...
The GOOD news is that I have continued to lose weight. I have not had ONE week where I've gained weight. I am also still working out 6 days a week- an hour a day. I just get mad at myself because I am working out every stinking day for WHAT when I am eating a piece of pumpkin pie??? I had to run to Wal Mart tonight & could not pass up a package of peanut butter cups. I decided if I didn't buy them I'd drive myself crazy over it so I bought them & plan on making Eric eat one. (I'm thoughtful AND generous.) If I'm going down that road, he's going with me.... RIGHT??? (and I have not yet opened the package. Maybe I'll feed them to the kids for breakfast in the morning. And please don't forget to nominate me for Mother of the Year.)

So that's where I'm at. I need to get my head back on straight & have some "guilt free" days. (meaning I need to QUIT BREAKING THE RULES) I'm sure I can do it~ I just have to find the willpower. Screwing up scares me. I feel like it's a slippery slope and I don't want to go back to where I was.

And what could I look like at 180 pounds? Or... 170? Let me tell you this- - - Dr. Hempel said that if I reach my target weight of 155 I can have some "lifting" and "tucking" and maybe some "implanting" done. (TOTALLY my idea- he's just the wonderful, supportive husband who will have to pay for it.) And when that day comes, we'll have to start a whole NEW blog about THOSE adventures!