Hard.

I have to say- I think the hardest thing about losing weight is keeping your head in the game. Hands down... biggest struggle. It's something that always has to be in the forefront. And being your own cheerleader is hard. We know the rules- burn more then you eat. Stay away from sugars. Stay away from simple carbs. Bulk up on protein. I've got it. You know what I don't have figured out? The why. Why did I gain this weight, to begin with? Why is it that when ten o'clock hits, I'm looking for something to eat? Why did I build this protective suit around me? What is it going to take to peel it off? Hard. Change is also hard and this summer I've had a lot of it. Without going into a lot of detail, I've lost something in my weight loss routine that was very, very important to me. (has NOTHING to do with my husband or Aspen's Medical Weight Loss program- just something personal and, ultimately, insignificant.) And I can let that loss take me down or I can move forward. I have to hold my head up and move forward. Having Lauren out of school also threw my routine. I liked getting out of bed, throwing on my workout clothing, dropping Lauren off at school, & walking in the gym door by 8:30AM. Summers are unpredictable and can throw you some curve balls. But here's the deal: we have an entire lifetime of living in these bodies. And we can't live a lifetime depending on routine to get us through. I've gained about 8 pounds but I'm not going to beat myself up over it. I'm not a failure - I'm human. And at 37, hopefully, I have many more years to work on myself. The important thing is you just "keep on swimming" as Dory would say. (all of you mommies out there know who I'm talking about!) I've heard so many excuses from people over the last few months... so many explanations of why someone has 'fallen off of the wagon'... reasons why people are discouraged about their weight gain... Listen: being healthy is important. We all want to look and feel our best. However- there are going to be days, on occasion, that you need to eat that Twinkie. Eat it and move on. Learn from it. Jobs come and go. Friends come and go. Life comes and goes. I don't want to live my life as a fat person but I'm also not going to live my life counting each and every calorie I consume. I've said it before and I'll say it again: Being fat is hard. Losing weight is hard. Pick your hard. I have not made any major milestones, lately, but I'm still in the game. At the end of August it will have been a year since I started this journey. I've been working out, consistently, for a year. THAT is an accomplishment. I know more about weight loss today then I knew six months ago. PROUD of that. I still have over 40 pounds off of my frame. Good... I need to lose 40 more. I can do it.... I can do it.... I can do it.... I can do it..... I can do it......